learn to tie your shoes
Robert the Llamabutcher
has reminded me of a story. One of his pet peeves is "Casual dress" codes, where employees can presumably come to work naked if they feeeeeeel
that it would help them be more productive. (Remember, it's all about the feeeeelings
Now luckily for me, I am one of those wage-slaves that gets to wear whatever hideous uniform the sadistic powers that be choose for me to wear. I don't really have to worry about being over- or under-dressed, because if I am then it's my boss's fault.
However, there was a time when I did not wear this uniform: the job interview. Knowing that I was heading for a blue-collar sortof job, I didn't bother to go purchase a tie. But I did put on my Sunday best besides that: polish the ole boots, black Dockers (that I bought for the occasion) and a black button-down shirt, I even bought a belt that didn't have any metal studs or anything.
Two other people were applying at the same time as me. One was a black guy, whose clothes were clean, but unfortunately were about fifteen sizes larger than they should have been; I don't remember exactly what he was wearing other than everything had the FUBU logo emblazoned on it. Very ghetto-fabulous, probably pretty expensive and would have looked great at the bar. However, combine this with way too much cologne, a bright red bandanna, and every piece of street-slang one can imagine and, black or white, you don't exactly convey the image of a model employee.
The second contestant was a white guy that might be politely termed "heavyset", wearing a pair of high-water jeans that either came from the Salvation Army or Wal-Mart five years ago, a black Nascar t-shirt (complete with pit stains, mustard stains, and holes where it stretched across his prodigious bay-window), and a Bud hat that looked like it had just been pulled from a mud puddle.
Tell me, is it that difficult to hike your happy ass down to the local K-Mart and buy a $15 pair of slacks and a $10 golf shirt? I hate to sound like I'm being a tight ass here, and I know you don't like shirts with collars and don't want to give in to what "The Man" wants, but guess what: if you want The Man to give you a job, you might have to bend a little bit. I hate polo shirts, I am much more comfortable in a pair of plaid bondage pants and black t-shirt. But I don't walk into a potential employer's office in plaid pants and expect to get a job. And because I took the trouble of putting on a shirt with buttons, I got a pretty decent gig and you're still working at 7-11. Congratulations. I'll see you later, like when I'm buying a pack of smokes ten years from now and you still can't understand why nobody wants to hire you.