The saying goes that there is no Athiests in foxholes, but that saying is wrong. In a firefight, all that exists is you, the people around you, the gun, and the bullets. Nothing is real beyond a 50 ft. radius, much less some celestial god.What follows is I guess even more personal, and then moves on through the next several days, some of the worst that my usually lucky company had to put up with. The now-classic "Veteran's Day Firefight", the day my tl finally snapped out, and so much more, only a short while before coming home.
And when a soldier dies, the suppossed god is not caring, nor cruel, nor watching. The reality of a neverending death comes crashing down, all other concerns and possibilities outside of friends and enemies are blown away.
Sgt. Nick Tomko died from rifle fire tonight, 1905, doing the night sweeps I described as "routine" last night.
Tomko and I were frinds, not super close but we lifted together and played video games and such...he sleeps 10 ft. away. At first I didn't like him, I thought he was just another meathead, but under the gym finished physique was acutually a fairly clever sense of humor, and we actually started getting along together very well.
Nick was younger than Eric, and left no wife, but he did have a small son. I remember the first time I met him was sitting in a corner with him & Peters playing with his son. I don't know what the mother's up to, but I hope she takes good care of him.
He had alot of friends here, and one particularly close girlfriend. They've been together since the beginning and she is a true wreck tonight...Jen's trying to help her, but...shit. what to say.
"I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us...We need the books that affect us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside of us.
"How could you, Francis. How could you. You heartless bastard." -Ilyka
"Death to the Republic of Dork! All hail the Geek Empire!"
"It's kind of like Lileks on electro-shock treatments that aren't quite working."-steve the llama butcher
email the emperor:
unconqured -at- gmail.com
(bonus points for anyone that can guess the literary referance in which "unconqured" and "I" figure prominently)
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