today's lesson: do not send strangers emails about your sex life
Okay, keep in mind, I'm a genius, especially when it comes to lit classes. I'm not afraid to open my mouth in class, and usually whatever falls out of it makes sense and contains at least some insight. (Ignore what falls on this blog, I like to think it's not really representative) So when some dude asks if I could study for the exam with him sometime, I just assume he has recognized my supreme book-dork abilities and wants to work with someone who knows what the hell he's talking about. I did the same in high school science classes: I never would have passed chemistry if I hadn't latched onto the two smartest people in the class for group work.
When I tell him I'm sorry but I have to work, but he shows up with a study guide for me on the day of the exam anyway, I figure he just had one printed out and felt like helping a guy out.
Then today, he kept looking at me goofy during class, like he wanted to say something but didn't. Then I check my email, and this:
> On Sat, 12 Feb 2005 04:44:32 +0000, D__ <email@example.com> wrote:
> Hey Frank,
> What's up man? What are you doing this weekend? I thought I should tell you
> something just in case you deside to never talk to me again. I am gay, but I
> wont hit on you. I'm just looking for really cool friends, and you seem like
> a cool guy. Ok, so I told you now the rest is up to you...haha
> see you on Tuesday.
> Have an awesome weekend,
Notice that that was sent days ago, I just didn't get it until after my class today. God only knows what he was thinking today.
Now, what the hell am I suppossed to say to that? He's nice enough and everything, and I'm sure in what he at least percieves for some reason to be an akward situation; but I am not only not gay, I don't have time for friends that I made months ago, much less someone that, honestly, seems kindof boring.
How does one say "I don't care if you prefer women, men, or barnyard animals" without sounding either flippant or overly concerned? I have this problem whenever any stranger feels the need to tell me something personal about their sex life or health or something: either make a joke, and risk offending them, or try to be serious, and risk sounding like some kind of shrink, or like you're trying too hard.
I think what I went with was something like "As to your being gay, good for you!" I think that pretty effectively says "I don't care" in a way that sounds like "I care, but don't mind."
Unfortunatly, convincing someone that I really don't have the time to be making friends without sounding like I'm just avoiding them is a trick I haven't yet figured out, everybody seems to think that I would much prefer sitting at work over going to the bar on a friday night.
My only saving grace is that, in the long run, I don't really care how he takes the response. If he gets offended, or thinks I'm avoiding him, then fine, I don't have to deal with it anymore. I don't set out to offend people (well, not usually, anyway), but I can't bring myself to be overly bothered if it happens.
Now, I just have to hope that this guy dosen't somehow land on my blog; otherwise, I could have a highly offended gay man waiting for me in class on Thursday.