give me the stupid little golden man statue, or i will shoot you in the face.
That pic comes from the online Hoover archives, which, since it's a government outfit, means I don't have to feel bad about hotlinking it. I hate being bothered with loading up geocities and going through the ten minutes it takes to put images online. My tax dollars pay for that bandwidth, dammit!
Ace says, "All of Hollywood is scared of Clint Eastwood." I say, as well they should be. Scorcese may be a brilliant director, blah blah blah, but what are the chances he'll show up at your house Monday morning packing a peacemaker and a magnum?
Eastwood is like a minor deity here in the geek empire. I have an autographed picture of him on my wall, right next to the
autographed "Dawn of the Dead" case. The theme from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" is one of the ringers on my phone. My girlfriend seems to think I may have some sort of crush on him. In order to squelch that suspicion, I think I need to post more pictures of him on this blog. I have not, however, seen "Million Dollar Baby". Maybe someday, but it dosen't really sound like my thing.
I'm coming to discover that I love the Academy Awards. Not that I watched the actual show, mind you. Some of us have to work for a living, after all, even on a Sunday. Besides that, putting evidence behind Chris Rock's theory, the only straight man I know that watched the show is so far left he's like "honorary gay" (you know, like the French), and he only watched it because all his lesbian friends were watching it. I'm sure that there are perfectly manly men out there that watch the awards somewhere. I'm just saying that they are probably watching it hoping for a good lay afterward.
But the controversy and insults generated from this one event are priceless. Chris Rock. Who decided that would be a good idea? We're going to put Chris Rock on stage, but tell him not to say anything obscene. That's like telling Salma Hayek not to
say anything stupid: physically impossible.
As to his making fun of Bush: get over yourselves already. He's a
comedian, and, love Bush or hate Bush, there's an awful lot of material there. Yes, the
numbers are wrong and it's a dumb way of looking at it, but in case you didn't notice, he also called Mikey Moore fat and John Kerry a gigilo. (I include the PW link here because somehow, I don't think Goldstein is in all that much of a fit of CITIZEN JOURNALIST RAGE over this, so he's dosen't need to get overhimself just yet).
Besides that, the
other jokes I've read were pretty funny, despite the muzzle.
See also:
Hubris, from whence the link above came (and who needs to be on my, and your, blogroll);
Ilyka, from whence the Hubris link came; the
Llamabutchers, who add, "CHE ES MUERTO, MADRE-ORGLER"; and their links to
Kathy the Cake eater.
Kathy gets into another fun part of the post-awards: snarking on the stupid shit that passes for clothes among the beautiful people. (Actually, she makes fun of pretty much
the whole thing, but I needed a segue. Work with me here, people.) I don't know dick about high fashion or what who is wearing, and I couldn't name a famous designer if my life depended on it. But people who follow that kind of stuff can take the superficial cruelty of it to whole new levels. Superficial cruelty is, of course, one of my favorite pasttimes. I wish I could remember every one I've seen, but for a magnum opus check out the girls at
fug. (via
IMAO) Just start at that post and keep scrolling.
Maybe next year, I will watch it. What a circus. I feel like I'm missing out on the freakshow of the year. They can make fun of Bush all they want, because when it comes to shit to make fun of, old George can't hold a candle to these morons.
