how to be popular
Proving the theory,
I'm going to link Ace's treatsie on how to garner links from important people, and stuff.
But his post is long. And rather boring. And, in Ace fashion, he has several extended caveates at the end that more blur the point than clarify it; just more blah-blah.
So here's the reader's digest version: Don't Be A Dick About It, Already.
Newsflash: If you run a rather small blog, big bloggers don't want your traffic. They don't care. They pretend like they care, to appease the little people, but they don't. The best you can hope for is a mercyfuck link until you write something useful.
Also, What you've written may seem to you to be the Greatest! Post! Ever!!! but it isn't likely they'll agree. So don't send them links every two days (Great way to get your email blocked!) to stuff you've written.
Much like in sales, target the consumer. For example, if I had a post proving Tawny Kaiten (or however the hell you spell her name) had a secret backroom session with Darth Cheney, I'd probably send it to Ace. Especially if all they did was rolled up character sheets, and assaulted "Mount Doom and The Villian That Sounded Alot Like Paul Anka", ending with Cheney, playing a 65th lvl Mage, casting a "Magical Nukulear Missles of Halliburton" spell on Tel Aviv.
That's Ace's niche, and I'd be almost guaranteed a link.
Having said all that, I've been blogging for what, a year and a half now, and my traffic is so far in the gutter that the hobo that opens the door for me on the way out of the bar won't even link me. My Grandmother, who has never touched a computer keyboard in her life, laughs at my sitemeter stats. So maybe I'm not the best person to be taking advice from.
Also, I've sent Ace some stuff over time that I thought he'd be interested in, mostly offbeat news articles related to stuff he's written about. Actually, I thought I sent him some pretty good stuff; Only once in a great while, never begging for a link, occasionally not even mentioning that I blog, just stuff I thought he'd like.
And has he linked me, or mentioned stuff I sent him? Nope. But that's okay. I have twenty four friends here to keep me company, all labeled Pabst Blue Ribbon, and they all say screw that Ace O Spades guy, he's a fuckin' loser anyway. He's what, a "Scriptwriter", with a blog? You know what a scriptwriter with a blog is? He's the guy asking you "Would you like fries with that?", just before he takes the meathammer from his boss hoping to be promoted to "Big Mac Manager", a fake title made up for the boss's boyfriend that offers the same pay but the POWER of being Big Mac Manager.
Oh, and also, like that stupid homo hamburger slut said, use trackbacks. One of these days, I'm going to start using trackbacks again, just to let people know I'm writing about what they said. But it is a royal pain in the ass, it takes almost two minutes I could be surfing the web for more stupid flash games to play. But you can bet I won't start using them with this post.
Stupid Lame Caveat: It's sarcasm, and a little bit of parody. Please don't leave links, comments or emails of sympathy or counseling on how to popularize this blog. I've never tried to popularize this blog, I don't particiularly care to try to popularize this blog, I may someday, but as of right now I don't feel like putting in the energy. I appreciate the readers I have, and if I sound bitter, it's because that's the way I write, and I like it that way.
Having said that, Mr. Ace O Spades is, right this moment, taking it in the pooper from some Hollywood exec that swears to him that Ace's screenplay will start production tommorow, but who only flew out to New York because he heard about this talentless hack of a wannabe writer with the tightest ass this side of a Hanson concert.
Like a Viking, indeed.
